Thursday, October 18, 2007

The conscience-smitten mom and the joy that results from conciliation treat

Guilt over scolding Jade to sleep the other night hit me as I saw her cuddle to her dad in an attempt to get the right position to sleep. At that time, I ran out of patient because after more than an hour of trying to put her to sleep, all she did was toss and turn and either scratch the back of my arms so lightly that it tickles or kick my tummy and legs with all her might. I started to tuck her to bed at 9:30pm after the usual evening games but she just couldn’t keep still. She would pull me up so I’d carry and swing her then she’d point at the bed as her way of telling she wants to lay down. Then she would pull me up again and point back to bed. She has been doing that for sometime now but that night was different. We actually allot one hour till she gets to doze off as we know that much as her eyes are already drooping, she wouldn’t really get into wonderland yet. But then an hour passed and she was still turning, hitting me here and there. Her dad arrived and offered to put her to sleep but I hesitated knowing that she would be crying instead and will make her awake even more. 11pm ticked and I decided to just get her up to play such that she’ll eventually get exhausted and sleep. I tickled her and made her laugh then I brought her out to the living room to play her toys and I even gave her a cookie to munch. I didn’t check the time anymore but when I noticed that her eyes were already turning red and she kept on yawning and started scratching the eyes, we put her back to the bedroom but no, she didn’t sleep right away. I think it was already past 12MN when she finally went to wonderland.

I felt slight aches from her powerful kicks but when I embraced her, I shed tears resulting from the guilt feeling of the scoldings in between the attempt of putting her into sleep. With that in mind until yesterday afternoon, I decided to bring her out to make up for the night before. Hubby’s working overtime again so date was only for me and Jade. I fetched her up and with her porridge ready, we went to the apartment to pick up the backpack with the entire toddler’s stuff and off we headed to the bus stop.

Jade may not really know and understand that I’m bringing her out to “pay” for mom’s misbehavior the other night but I didn’t really care. The treat was part of the mother-daughter bonding anyway. I brought her to KFC – with her porridge, we dined and shared the set of meal I ordered then I brought her up to the kid’s playpen and allowed her to enjoy. She was really very happy to be there and it was the first time that she slid down the slides in a correct way, and to her delight, she did it several times happy to know that she got it right this time. She also got the chance to play with another toddler whose mother was trying to converse with me but in the language that I still don’t understand. She wanted to play more but it was time to get back home. Good thing she was satisfied that she didn’t resist when I placed back her shoes signalling her it’s time to leave. Last night, she still did the toss and turns but mommy had the patient afterall.

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