Thursday, September 27, 2007

Wheel of misfortune...

I was on my way to the RD lab when I saw my colleague from the window. I called on her to let her know someone’s looking for her only to see that she was weeping. Though she turned to acknowledge me, I just signalled her to go on her way… to the toilet… to weep…
When I reached the lab, I saw her project engineer talking to the team leader. His tone was not very nice until he was already almost shouting. Then I realized what caused her to cry… she had an argument with the guy over the project issues and she left him with the leader otherwise, they’ll be shouting back to each other.
Nah, I had my own share of those bad moments when some people or most people just don’t understand how much pressure is on us being the direct contact between our company and the customers. It’s not as simple as arranging the project schedule as they think. They don’t understand that we are representing the company and not our personal identities.
The team leader and the other team member are here now, trying to comfort her. I understand how disappointed she is with all these big issues and out of control situations plus people who don’t cooperate, and with the customer starting to complain…
I think I had more than that…
I cried several times in desperation feeling I was a failure because I, unlike the rest of the team members, get the direct feedback from outside…
My boss even called me a liar but people around me were more than a liar…
I even shouted back to one of my team members because she jokingly blamed me for the project’s failure…pish!
But now is my time to just watch them…
I can’t do much because of my company’s culture…
Later, when these two are gone, I’ll just listen to my colleague and empathize with her.

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