In memoriam... FHM

Please click image for larger view.

Obituary published on the August 10 issue of Baguio Midland Courier.

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My Precious

What: Waterford Crystal Lismore Carafe and Wine Set
Where: (it came from) Ireland (Waterford Crystal is originated from Waterford, Ireland)
When: (was it given) February 2004
Who: (gave it) ADLK colleagues (ADI Limerick TSM team - design, design evaluation and test development engineers)
Why: (was it given) Wedding gift (given few weeks earlier than the wedding date)
How: Handcarried by my (former) offshore boss

I've been assigned (years ago - while I was still working for ADI) for few months offshore "work" in ADI Ireland (which we also call ADLK) for three consecutive years but I never had the courage to buy even a small piece of artwork from Waterford Crystal because of it's "for your eyes only" price tags. Few of my Filipino colleagues who have earned their target savings from our per diem allowances have bought themselves a small piece or two while what most of us, who visited the main outlet in Waterford county, only did "window shopping" and of course, picture taking.

I must be very lucky to have worked with the entire TSM-LK team who were so generous to buy me (and my soon to be hubby at that time), not just a small piece from the crystal store, but a big item - not one piece - but a set of three.

On February 2004, few weeks before our wedding set on March 6 of the same year, my Irish boss went to visit the Philippines plant (ADGT) for business meetings with the management, and with our local team as well. On the day he went to Cavite, he went down to our workplace carrying a huge paper bag. Some of my colleagues started to look as he headed to my seat, said his hello, offered me a handshake, gave me a hug and a kiss, and finally handed me that huge paper bag.

At the glance of it, all I can do is smile (and I think my smile was from ear to ear). The package inside was triangular with the mark "Waterford Crystal". Actually, the huge paper bag itself was marked with the said brandname. He said it's from the whole of TSM-LK team. Inside the bag was also a huge greeting card which I opened right after he left my seat. I was so happy to see the familiar names from those I've worked with and those that I just knew by name and face.

When he left, one of my friends approached me and said "I bet that costs __K Php". On the other hand, my local boss uttered "Lucky you!" followed by "Maybe I should get married again so I can receive the same gift package as yours." One friend, who just heard from others about the present, came to me asking, "hey, can you open it now for everyone to see?" Other colleagues from different work area also came to curiously ask what's inside the huge paper bag.

Since the set was given before our wedding, my housemate and friend (who was also trying to quote the set) suggested (or actually insisted) that we should use it on our wedding day for the wine toasting part of the wedding (reception) ceremony.

We then brought the set, handled with all loving care, along with us when we went up to Baguio a week before our wedding date. I had to instruct the hotel wedding attendant several times to ensure that the set will be used during our reception and that it should be brought back to us after the reception. Oh well, I didn't have to tell them what to do after the wedding party as I made sure myself that the set is carried back to our room while the reception area was being cleaned up.

The triangular packaging is still intact up to now, that huge paper bag has been crumpled though. After our recent vacation, I surfed the net if the item is still available (partly checking on the price as well) and I found out that the current packaging is not as how we received it. The wine glasses also looked different but I found the same design sold separately.

By the way, it's not that I am after the materiality of the present that I consider this item a precious. (well, I could say it's part of it - call me hyprocrite if I don't admit that, right?) It's more of its representation of a country I hold dear in my heart - Ireland. A place I wish my family could visit someday.

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Do mothers really lie to their kids?

Before I had my daughter, I was already a cry-baby when it comes to talking about mothers – the more I became when I turned out a mom myself. I vividly remember how my aunt and I shed buckets of tears after watching the movie “Nasaan ka Inay?” eons ago in Maricel Theatre. I would cry too even if I’m just reading articles or stories about mothers that once again, I couldn’t help but cry, unmindful of the passersby, while I was reading an article forwarded to me via email.

Did my mom ever lie to us? If yes, how many lies did she tell us? Why did she lie? Did she really have to lie? Then I asked myself, did I ever lie to my daughter? Or would I ever lie to my daughter? I don’t have the answers now…

EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor.

Often we hadn't enough to eat.Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice.While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say .."Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry."This was Mother's First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish,she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten. My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said,"Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish."This was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks.This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night Iawoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said,"Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning." Mother smiled and said"Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired"This was Mother's Third Lie.

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn,Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bellr ang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of teathat she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said .."Drink, son! I'm not thirsty!".This was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house cameto help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying .."I don't need love!"This was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morningjust to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said,"I have enough money!"That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by theAmerican Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me .."I'm not used to high living!"That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said,"Don't cry, son! I'm not in pain!"That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died ...YES, MOTHER WAS AN ANGEL! M - O - T - H - E - R "M" is for the Million things she gave me"O" means Only that she's growing old"T" is for the Tears she shed to save me"H" is for her Heart of gold"E" is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them"R" means Right, and right she'll always be, Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER" a word that means the world to me.

For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom's presence on Earth, this story is beautiful. For those who aren't so blessed, this is even more beautiful.

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Dalikan/Anidoan...

During cold days when most, if not all, family members leave the house for work and/or an early day appointment, heating water in the gas range or bathing with a pail of icy cold water come as options. When the former is opted, one can't be spared from the morning nags of a mother who worries about the increasing price of LPG while when the latter is chosen, one may come home with flu at the end of the day. To be spared from either consequences, the younger ones resort to heating as much water that the whole family can use, with some refills in between.

Even with an oven gas range in the kitchen, the "dalikan" outside the family house is still used especially when cooking "pinikpikan" (native delicacy) and "inangir" (boiled for a long time). And while cooking, one can also warm up from the heat that emits from the "dalikan" thus we also call it our "anidoan" (fireplace). In the early morning, it somehow becomes our father's "tambayan" or comfort zone with him sipping a hot cup of coffee. At times when he cooks there during the day,he would bring his "apos" (grandchildren) and teach them how to make "anido" their hands and even their feet. Our Jade of course, had her own initation during our stay, lol.

I believe that even if in the future, the family house is decided to be renovated, we will still opt to keep that kind of dirty kitchen as it does not only serve as a backup when we run out of LPG, but also because the dishes cooked from wooden fire tastes better than that cooked from the gas range.

Firewoods being dried in the backyard...

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She's now one of them...

After few months of waiting, my youngest sister finally shouted out that she's now an RN. The results came out yesterday and it somehow came as my sister's birthday presence to our father who told her he'll look for an elephant for the celebration, lol!

She left me a message in YM yesterday but I was not able to catch her. I called her today but I guess she's all to excited sharing the news of joy to her friends in town that she wasn't able to pick up her phone. I then had to pass my message through my other sister who sounded so happy too with the news.

We'll let her enjoy her moment for now and then ask her later what's the next step. We definitely wouldn't want her added in the list of unemployed :)

Congratulations Bok! We're all proud of you!

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Photo Meme - My Sundown!

Sunset
B J Ayers

Out over the ocean, and it’s waves it lay,
A magnificent orange sphere, as it drops to the sea,
With spears descending from within the fire,
The magnificent beauty of the sunset each day,

An immanent display, for the world to share,
As it seeps below horizons, to end the day,
Only to share light, so that others may see,
The beauty of the sunset for all who care,

Up above the clouds, that shadow the light,
The rain, the snow, and the elements that blind,
That magnificent glow, that Brightens our world,
Another sunset awaits, just to share its light.

I am posting another meme from Lovelyn in her Show me your sunset or sunrise photo tag.

I would have loved to work on both sunset and sunrise but I realized that there's no sunrise photo in my collection as of yet and starting one would entail leaving bed at the crack of dawn. In my mind though, the sunrise view on our way to Sagada in 2005 still remains very vivid. If only I can paint! Unfortunately, we didn't take any picture thinking we can do it on our way back, bad decision.

Anyway, getting back to the meme, the rules are as simple as posting photos you've taken, telling where and when the photos were taken and describing your feelings while watching/shooting the view.

The 1st and 2nd photos were taken in Tamsui Riverpark, a place we frequently hang around during weekends, last Sunday. Jade was on her afternoon nap so I left her and hubby in the coffeeshop. We intentionally waited for the sunset. Watching it gave me a soothing and serene feeling like any sunset views have always affected me.

The 3rd photo was taken in Sanzhi beachside on April 2006. Our company had several days break for the summer outing. Since we weren't comfortable to bring Jade along on long local trips, we came out with our own tour plan. This photo including details of how I felt at that time can be found in my post Reflection.

As for the last photo, sorry but I couldn't find one plain sunset photo, either me or hubby is in the pictures. Having him on this photo is one evidence that I shot it :) This was taken in the famous Boracay beach on April 2005 - twas our honeymoon trip. I was amazed at the sight of sunset here. Watching it with the splashes of water on the background gave a natural high! Yes, sunset has always given me a feeling of natural high!

Now since this is a meme, I have to pass it to other blogger friends out there who I hope can find some time to work on it. Jhune, Hannah, Sha, Ruel and Mari, please take it from here that you've been officially tagged.

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When a dog gets treated like a human...

...grief prevails over all other emotions when its time on earth has come to an end.

Ate Rosie, our friend who takes care of our daughter, called me this morning minutes before we were about to leave the house and bring Jade to her place. She was sobbing and I knew right away that something is wrong. Miki has been sick for several days now and he has been constantly vomiting and running out breath lately. She asked if I can take a leave of absence from work and she'll just call me back when she gets sober. I didn't have to ask why, I told her it's fine for me and I understand her position. I dressed back to then also thinking what a TGIF it is spent with Jade. At the back of my mind, I was also thankful she called giving me a valid reason not to report to work as I dreaded another day without anything to do but pretending to be busy in my work table.

After an hour, she called back, this time calm and able to tell me clearly what happened. She and her husband, Kuya Jack, were awake almost the whole night tending to Miki as he gasped for breath and could barely stand up from his bed wetting himself with his own urine. Ate had to stay in their living room where his bed was located. She had to call back Kuya, who already reached his workplace an hour drive away from our place, so they could bring Miki to a better hospital in Taipei City.

Miki came to the couple's life 5 years ago in time for them to get over the lose of their son Daniel. They found him along the way and brought him to the vet to report for being lost and found, and at the same time to check if the owner has already made an action to search for him. They found a badge around his neck but the vet advised them not to call instead wait for several days. Number of days passed but nobody seemed to look for him. This then was the signal for the couple to bring him home and call him their own.

Without a child in the family, all their love were poured over Miki. They bought him his own beddings, clothes, bathing stuffs and food. During his younger years, he would even sleep on their bed and like a real baby, he would do gestures to catch their attention or even display actions of jealousy during the couple's sweet moments in the living room. Anybody who says anything against him becomes the enemy. Ate had been into several verbal fights with some of the ill-mannered people in the neighborhood all because of her love over Miki. She really stood by his side all the way.

At the time he was found, the vet estimated him to be 7 years old. That being said, he should be 12 years old now. He had been brought to the hospital last year for getting into a serious medical condition where his life was almost gauged not to reach another year. This really hurt the couple. Miki had ailment in the liver and in his stomach walls. He had to be given a number of medications and vitamins. As he aged, he settled into his own place in the living room as he was no longer able to jump out of the bed to pee. His breath started to give out a foul smell because he regularly salivates. This didn't stop the couple from kissing and hugging him. Few months ago, they brought her to the vet for his regular check-up and to get the vet see his teeth because one of them got simply uprooted by itself. The vet cleaned his set of teeth removing all the tartars that contributed to the foul smell and magically, the unwanted odor was out.

Ate Rosie watching - making sure that Jade's not going to hurt Miki

I am not a pet lover but I tried to understand and accept the treatment they give to him. Ate would even refer to Miki as Jade's kuya (elder brother). My daughter, seeing how she treats him, also started to love him. She would hug or pat him. At first, she would even ride on his back thinking maybe that he is a toy. But through the months of being together in one place, she learned to befriend him. One thing that really surprised me was when she kissed Miki right on his mouth. She accidentally hit him on her way to the bedroom and he stumbled. Ate asked her to say sorry and in response, she hugged Miki and a kiss followed. A gesture I taught her in lieu of verbally apologizing.

Miki and Jade on one hot summer day - oh, is she pulling his left ear?

This week, they were both sick, Jade with a cough and Miki with several complications. Jade vomits because of the phlegm while he vomits because of his stomach ailment. Seeing him vomit would also make her nauseated. At one time, they even took turns in spitting out making Ate map the floor one after the other. Seeing him getting weaker as the days passed by, Ate prayed hard for a longer life for Miki. Some of her elderly friends in the neighborhood started to tease her saying he would pass away soon – she fought back. Noticing Miki's health diminishing, Dennis suggested that they get a new one to give life to Miki but Ate said she didn't like as she still hopes for Miki to stay longer and that she's not ready for a new one yet.

Thursday, a day before he left, Ate, being the mother, felt something different's going to happen. He wouldn't eat anything, not even his favorite cookie or chicken meal, even his medications. He threw up most of the time. They brought her to the nearby vet but of no use. That prompted them to bring him to a better vet hospital in Taipei so he could get injected with an IV to help him restore his health. Ate was crying all the way to the hospital talking to Miki to hang on.

Reaching the hospital, the vet attended to him right away. He was given an IV and was suggested to be brought to the incubator to calm him. He was by the way having a high fever that time. The vet placed him in a bed for a while so the vet could tend to his other patients but after few minutes, he started to gasp. The vet immediately transferred him to one area where he was given some resuscitating aids. Given all the attention, he still was not able to survive his plight. The couple weeped so much that even the vet and other pet owners around were moved. This is their second loss.

They left him in the hospital and asked the vet to have him incinerated and have his ashes be thrown in the sea. They headed home mourning. They weeped even more when they opened their home and saw no one waiting for them on the door. She called me after hours of getting herself to accept the reality that Miki, their pet dog, the one they considered their child has already left them. I really never mourned over the loss of pets but I did at this time. It dawned to me how Ate and Kuya really loved him so much that they really treated him as their own child – not just a pet but as a human. I shared with their grief, so did our other friends.

This is avgrief over a beloved pet like Miki – what more if he's beyond a dog?

To Ate Rosie and Kuya Jack, kudos to you for all the love and care you have showered to your Miki, your child. May you eventually get over his passing. In time, you'll find comfort knowing he has gone to rest and end his battle against life. His spirit is always with you.

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Crayfish

Contemplating over the non-approval of my blog in the marketplace after two weeks of being in queue, I decided to retract my application in PPP and in the other two blog paying sites I signed up at. I felt sad that I did this after all the excitement I even shared here but I think it's not the right time for me to get into this kind of thing. Two of the sites I signed up are very particular with the blog's stat to which I really don't have a good one yet. Guess, I have to earn more traffic first then renew my applications on these post paying sites. I should have thought about this in the first place - but didn't I? I did? Yes, I did! Anyway, these sites won't go away. Need to work more on the stats, huh!

Lesson learned - don't just plunge in into something not really thought about. But hey, I knew this even before. Ah, the silly me's here again.

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Office rant 3...

My colleague (let’s call her MC) and I (JM) were preparing our chopsticks for lunch today when…

Girl 1: Hey, MC, aren’t you going to the eng’g lab for lunch?

MC: Why? No, we’re going to the cafeteria.

Girl 1: Wait, girl 2 sent an email to everyone saying we all go together to the lab because packed lunched from outside will be served to the group.

MC: Huh! Really? What’s the occasion?

Girl 1: Wait, wait, wait …

(girl 1 looks at her email)

Girl 1: Sorry, sorry, I realized you’re not in the email chain

PS: Above conversation was in Chinese

_________________

On our way to the wash area:

MC: Girl 1 said … (related the above conversation to me)

JM: They always do that to us, that girl 2… she always leave us out of the list

MC: But why? She can do a mistake once, twice or thrice but not more than three times

JM: Maybe she intentionally does that – get rid of us

MC: But I still can’t understand

JM: You know, everytime I asked hubby why we’re not included, he tells me it’s time for us to move to that place so girl 2 will feel our presence…

- but then, I think, it won’t make a difference

- You know what, somebody from the group should somehow be curious why we’re not around, don’t you think?

MC: Yes, somebody should fight for us… pauses

JM and MC: But nobody seems to look for us…

________________

We headed down to the cafeteria and while queueing…

MC: I don’t feel bad because we don’t have the lunch box but I feel bad being not included in the chain. You see, they even included girl 1 (not a part of the group anymore) and the other lady whom we don’t even know

JM: Girl 2 also invited one of the girls downstairs before

MC turns back to our two other lunch buddies and told them what we were ranting about. Feeling for us, the other girl said we’d order our own drinks then. And MC blurted out “Yes, I’ll order drinks for everyone except her.”

MC: But that will be too obvious already

_____________

While we were eating our meals, we talked further:

JM: Who’s birthday is it today?

MC: I don’t know – I’m not sure – it could be the same guy who bought the 85degC drinks yesterday

JM: You mean the new guy

MC: No, should be from the other group

JM: Ah ok.

_________________

We finished our meal and as a final comment to our sentiments over not being invited to our group’s lunch-together, I looked at my platter and uttered – we got better meal than what they have in their lunchboxes!

___________________

THE END

_____________

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My Best Friend's Wedding...10 years after

From our Yangmingshan trip, Jade slept until I woke her up before 8pm so she could have dinner. Dennis turned on the TV and we saw that the movie feature is just about to start. Realizing it was “My Best Friend’s Wedding”, I told him I wanted to watch it because I haven’t seen if for a long time already. So we all sat in the sala, with Jade in our midst, and watched. Jade danced with the “Wishin’ and Hopin’” song as the movie’s introductory soundtrack. In the middle of the movie, Jade pulled us to the bedroom signalling us she wanted to sleep already. I asked Dennis if he could put Jade to sleep as I wanted to finish the movie but he told me he wanted to finish it too. We all headed up to the bedroom, turn off the light but didn’t go to sleep yet. Instead, we turned on the small TV in the room and continued to watch. I attempted to put Jade into sleep but she waited until the movie ended.

I first watched MBFW sometime between October and November of 1997… yes, that was 10 years ago. I watched it with my good friends while we were in Manila for the board exams review. I still remember that the moviehouse was jampacked so we had to squeeze ourselves until we reached the front with the screen right infront of us. I guess we seated on the floor. Since we were younger then, the movie really attracted us. But then I realized, until today, after 10 years, the “kilig” effect is still there. I don’t know about my husband’s reaction but I saw that he also enjoyed it.

The story is about two friends who made a pact that if they reach 28 and still haven’t got their partners, they will end up together. The girl was unattached seemingly waiting for the boy to propose but unfortunately figured out that the boy is already engaged and is about to get married 4 days after she knew it. So she had to make a way to stop the wedding.

Here are two versions of the movie plot from tvguide and wikipedia.

As her 28th birthday approaches, perpetually noncommittal food critic Julianne (Julia Roberts) is haunted by the deal she made with best-buddy Michael (Dermot Mulroney), who's always carried a torch for her: They vowed that if neither had married by the age of 28, he'd propose. But when the dreaded phone call comes, it's worse than she had imagined: Michael has fallen in love with someone else. And worse still, this perfect being (Cameron Diaz) is blonde, younger, richer and more good-natured than Julianne. Though atypical in that our gal is forced to fight for her man by any means necessary, this Roberts vehicle is still a first-class showcase for her blinding smile, cascading locks and amiably klutzy mannerisms. But its revelations are Diaz and Rupert Everett, who plays Roberts' boss: Her Kimmy, all insouciance and honest ditziness, is enough to make a frat boy's knees go weak, while he -- the exceedingly suave and witty voice of reason -- gives a modern spin to the classic role of romantic confidant. Every time Everett walks into frame, you can't help but think how much better a movie this would be if there were only more of him in it. This amiable comedy may not be hugely sophisticated, but Hogan does manage to make his attractive leads look like complete idiots, no mean achievement in image-obsessed Hollywood.

Julianne heads to Chicago intent on sabotaging Michael's wedding to the perky Kimberly 'Kimmy' Wallace (Diaz). Soon after Julianne's arrival in Chicago, and after Michael has introduced her to his fiancee Kimberly, Kimmy puts Jules on the spot, in the presence of Jules' best friend Michael, to be Kimmy's maid of honor, so Jules consents, which establishes a comical Hyde/Jekyll scenario for Julianne, who on the one hand, has to appear to be true to the role of being Kimberly's dutiful maid of honor, while nevertheless secretly looking for any opportunity to sabotage Kimmy's wedding to Michael. When other ploys by Julianne fail, she concocts her own fake engagement to her gay friend George (Rupert Everett) --a surprise not only to Michael, but also to George when he hears Jules announce their supposed engagement to Michael when George and Michael meet. Julianne's schemes are sometimes blatently devious, even cruel; in one case, she manages to convince Michael that Kimberly is attempting to steer him into a career decision that he doesn't want to take.

After one scheme after another has failed, Julianne finally confesses to Michael that she is in love with him, but it is truly not meant to be, and Michael does end up marrying his fiancee Kimberly. Two notable differences from most romantic comedies, are that the heroine and hero do not end up together, and that the main character, Julianne is, by her own eventual tearful admission, the "bad guy." Fortunately, everyone is forgiven in the end, and Jules contentedly dances with George at the wedding reception of Kimmy and Michael.

I remember now that all of my girlfriends who watched the movie with me had purple motif on their weddings. In the movie, purple was the wedding’s motif. Coincidence, errr…

I know KGF even bought the movie’s soundtrack in a casette form – CD’s were’nt in yet at that time.

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Office rant 2...

The following phone conversation is based on a real scenario though the lines are modified so as not to disclose "confidential" information. It took place this morning. I was the one who initiated the call.

me: Hi (girl), did you see my email? Could you please get back to me on the information I asked?

girl: I can't find it.

me: Shouldn't you have a system where you can track it from?

girl: yes we do but i can't find it

me: but (boy) said he already generated it some time ago (around one month ago I think)

girl: let me ask from him. here he is now. i'll pass the phone

me: how come girl can't find the info in the system. you told the team you have already generated it.

boy: i can't find it either.

me: how come?

boy: let me check. i am opening my system now. (pause) i don't think i generated it.

me: what? why? didn't you tell us before you have it already

boy: yes, but i think i made a mistake on that

me: huh!

boy: i also checked from (another boy) and he told me he didn't receive it yet

me: huh! (eyebrows raised) (pause).. hey boy, how come you're telling me this now? we had daily meetings and you confirmed you already provided the info. we even argued with the other boy telling him you confirmed. because you did confidently confirmed back to us several times (strong emphasis on "confidently confirmed")

boy: i think i got things mixed up (or something like that)

me: what??? (again...) hei, didn't you know that we had daily meetings because of you. do you mean you were lying to us the whole time???

boy: perhaps you can say that!

me: (very very surprised, disappointed, almost disoriented already as in duh!)...whoa! so you admit all these time you have lied to us? .....

boy: (i forgot what he said this time because I got disoriented by his earlier response )

me: what's wrong with you? how many times have you told us lies? (pause)

(long pause)

me: I will emphasize to you, you have lied to us. ( I really don't want to believe what I heard earlier again)... ( I had to calm down) ok, just give me what I need and I need it now. (deep sigh... phone down...no bye bye or thanks (what should I thank him for anyway, for his lies???)

minutes later, my colleague/friend reacted. " I thought you were talking the the other department because of this reason but when I heard you mention the name of the boy, I knew what it was. You sounded like a mother... (bwahahahahaha)

I shed some tears because of my great disappointment from that phone conversation. Could you imagine working with somebody who after all, is eventually telling you lies? I shouldn't be more surprise that he's done a lot of lies to his external contacts...pish na ketdi.

I got another call this afternoon, not from the "boy" but from somebody the boy approached looking for some reports. He asked me for some information (not related to the conversation). I just told him "let the boy figure out by himself" and whispered "he's a liar".

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Rant...

My colleague (& friend) seated right beside me sent me an email before 3PM today. It contains the following lines...

Why (other colleague's name disclosed) always wears lots of clothes in Summer time then turn the air con to that low temperature……………….Don’t understand……..

I can't help but burst into laughter. We had this concern for some time now. We take turns in changing our office room's air-conditioning setting that my friend even directed the pane right towards the other girl and had the fan setting increased instead of decreasing the temperature. Summer's over now but it is still warm in here so we still get to wear our summer clothes but because of the other girl's doing, we have to wear our jackets from time to time.

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Early morning nerve shaking experience

I woke up this early morning because I felt something different. It was neither my daughter moving nor my husband changing his sleeping position; it was the bed and the door moving. I turned to my daughter’s side, wrapped her with my arms and moved her to the center of the bed. I had to shake my hubby to wake him up (imagine how worried I am already but he was still in a deep sleep huh!). The door was still moving. He looked at me and asked why. I cried in panic “lumilindol, di mo ba nararamdaman!” He turned towards Jade still in a deep sleep and uttered “oo nga!” We lay still hugging each other with our arms wrapped around our precious Jade. I looked around and felt another movement and the door produced a slight banging sound again. Dennis tried to calm me by saying it is ok but for me nothing is ok. My earthquake experience has left caused me a deep trauma that even a slight ground shake will make me cry. Questions like what to do, where to go, what’s next, how to deal with this if it wouldn’t stop, and all things like that ran into my panicked mind. I don’t even remember if I asked for God’s protection. Then after a couple of minutes that seemed like an hour to me, our surroundings calmed down. I didn’t move, I continued to look around hoping that the ground has really calmed. It did! The next thing I heard is “it’s really ok now, go back to sleep.” I looked at my watch, saw time is a little past 2, slowly turned Jade back into her “territory” and continued to hug her while I stared at the curtains and eventually I got back to sleep.

One of the first things I did in office this morning was to check the news and figured out that the earthquake’s magnitude is 6.6 and it took place at 1:52AM. It was followed by another with a magnitude of 5.7 at 1:55AM. The epicenter is in Hualien City found in the middle part of Taiwan. We are in Taipei, northern part of Taiwan and we felt the earth moved significantly. It must really be a strong one. My colleague arrived, asked me if I felt the quake and told me it’s the 3^rd strongest quake after the 1999 killer quake that hit Taiwan. We are very glad the earth didn’t shake any harder.

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Your life has ceased but not the good memories you have instilled in our lives...

Part of my usual lunch break activities is to surf the net where friendster.com is one of the sites I frequently visit. I usually do not look at the the posted bulletins but yesterday, a post entitled "In memoriam - R.B." caught my attention. The post came from a former colleague way back my BCF teaching days, I gave it a second look and yes, the name placed after the first two words is somebody I know. A former co-teacher that belonged to the same group that I have been part of for a while. Somebody who was fun to be with and who seemed to be carefree. And yes, he has passed away. For whatever reason, I was told it's no longer important to know. What's significant is that he has now gone into rest. I remained in a state of shock for a while, and when it sank into me, I cried inside. I realized once again that one will never know when earthly life will come to an end.

To you whose life has cheered and inspired others, go rest in peace now. Thank you for the good, though brief, camaraderie you have shared. See you in the other life.

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Monday, July 2, 2007

I am officially back to work today after a two months vacation leave. Hurray, I am happy to hear from my colleagues that there are no big issues concerning the projects I left behind. People in my RD team now leaves the office at 10pm whereas they used to get home from work past 12MN. Unfortunately though, this means that we don't have new projects coming. On the other hand, this entails that I can go home exactly at 5:40pm everyday, yehey!

Hmmn, several things have changed in the office area. The layout of the RD lab infront of our office area has changed, half of my RD lab is left unoccupied, breakfast meals are sold in the vegetarian canteen (instead of the store), the store owner is new (or maybe just a reliever), two guys behind my office seat have left the company, there are new two faces I see around, one of my PM colleagues has transferred to sales and hey, my boss has also been changed. Oops, the 1pm bell rang already, got to get back to reality.

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What it takes to say YES and what it means to say SO...

YES - Indicates an affirmative response...
AFFIRMATIVE - Expressing or manifesting praise or approval
APPROVAL - Acceptance as satisfactory
ACCEPTANCE - The act of taking something that is offered
SATISFACTORY - Meeting requirements
REQUIREMENTS - Needs

It is so easy to say YES - but the question is that, is YES given as an answer just a simply way of ending a conversation, an argument, a request, a demand, a question, a statement...

What if YES given today or minutes ago suddenly turns out to be a "NO". Then again you'd get an affirmative answer, that is, YES. Word uttered as it is but the ACTION is the other way around.

What does it take to say YES such that the outcome is as required?

...such is for somebody who so easily says so but does the opposite

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Sentiments of a mother...

Being a mother for almost six months now has led me into a realization that mothers are indeed to be considered heroes in their own ways. I couldn't imagine how much patience, love and endurance a mother has in rearing up her child all through the growing years.

I am in a situation where our baby is under medical observation and to undergo medical testings, which in turn, may lead her to be under treatments. For whatever reason, we are yet to know in two weeks time.

My heart was broken after hearing the words from the babysitter that the first manifestation that I, myself, has witnessed in Jade, had happened for the second time. I had to go to the bathroom and cry my tears out to easen the emotional pain I have inside. It happened yet to Jade, it seemed nothing. Though I know something could be wrong that needs immediate medical attention.

We are lucky to have a very supportive pedia who helped us seek for a specialist in one of the well known hospitals in Taipei. In addition to that, we are also lucky that her medical insurance covers all that we only had to pay the registration fee of 100NTD. Moreover, we are lucky to have understanding and supportive employers and colleagues who, in their own ways, had given us their emotional support.

I do not feel like disclosing the whole thing here now, I will soon as I know it will help others, especially moms like me.

In two weeks time, we will be going back to the hospital. I pray for strength because much as I have, anything related to Jade makes me so emotionally hurt, but I know that I need to be stronger in any means.

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Working after a long "rest"

I am just two weeks old in my new job as a project manager for key customers but I am starting to feel the pressure already. Actually, the 1st week was more of familiarization of the work place, the processes and the people especially the key contacts from the different departments. It was just last Thursday that my projects were formally given, that makes it barely a week of formal job assignment. At first, I paid attention only to two major projects then at the start of this week, I realized there are so much things to do. Luckily, the engineering group I work with are very supportive and accomodating. My boss too is supportive but he got too many projects as well that is more of a concern to him. So I have to learn how to become independent. The bad thing though is I don’t know how to speak Taiwan’s native language. I attented few meetings where the people communicated in Chinese. I am lucky if there’s somebody who’ll volunteer to interpret stuffs for me. Today, I attended a weekly meeting for regular updates of schedule. After I raised my concern on the items attentioned to me, I excused myself since I can’t understand the rest they’re discussing. I had to spend my 1st official overtime to finish several tasks and project schedule preparation that my boss will check tomorrow. When I was about to leave the office, I saw my task lists for the morrow and shesh, my day sched is almost full, and I have an evening conference call meeting at 9pm which reminds me that I have to update the progress reports in the morning.

But then I realized that it’s how things are at work. You have to be tough to survive ( After almost nine months of unemployment, I think I missed working =)

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wala na ung mga nilagay ko, IT"S GONE!!!

I don't know what went wrong. I was browsing different blogspots of friends (including my own) earlier today at the office and everything was just fine. I came home from work, surfed the net, as always, check for new posts in different sites and checked my personal site. I checked on my links and when I got back to my page ..... nada! It was gone. I got a message that said something like the page does not exist or the page can not be found. I tried to make use of the blogger help but to no avail. I did not even sign in huh! Now I have to start all over again =( unless blogger support can recover it!

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